Pony Da Look
The Forcefield Weakens
You are from Canada, why are you singing like Morrissey? Oh I see,
it’s to disguise an egregious lack of talent. Hmmmm… What? Oh you’re
actually a photographer. I see. What’s that? Yes, yes, you should
probably invest in a drum machine.
Fuck off, you pompous windbag! Are you kidding me? “I Don’t Want To
Be A Star” my ass, everything about this guy screams “LOOK AT ME!
LOOK AT ME! I’M FUCKING LENNY KRAVITZ, A BIG HUGE, POINTY, ASSHOLE
ROCKSTAR!” From the André 3000 treatment to the heavily
photoshopped shirtless cover shot. Dude, you look like an Icecream!
Well all right, now were talkin’. Smells like some decent
blue-collar rock ‘n’ roll, the polar opposite of pointy old Lenny
Kravitz. I mean, that guy actually has the sack to croon “All I need is
my Chevy and my old guitar.” I call BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT, LENNY! BULLSHIT
ON YOU! That’s right, I can see you, Lenny, smashing toilets in hotel
lobbies and spending $800 dollars on shoelaces! I CAN SEE YOU! You
aren’t fooling anyone!
Grab That Gun
Driving bass and drums plus jangly guitars plus minimalist synths plus
melancholic (but not whiny) vocals equals head-bobbin’ ‘80s New
Wave goodness. Not unlike an all-girl version of the Cure, but with less
makeup and no hightops.