Reports out of Ottawa announce that Canada could legalize marijuana by Canada Day, 2018, making every Canadian flag with a pot leaf instead of a maple leaf finally relevant.
CBC says that it could be up to each province to create its own weed rules and guidelines around how to regulate the drug.
Alberta Premier Rachel Notley calls the changes in federal laws complex, but that her government is preparing to deal with them. The story states that Notley’s worries focus on the safety of young Albertans and the possibility that legalizing pot could lead to a residual black market.
When asked about the potential legalization of pot, the guy who hangs out by the 7-Eleven dumpster said he’s fine with it because he’s been selling oregano for years.
3 Speed(ing tickets)
Multiple Edmonton news sources are reporting that a local man is furious after he received three photo radar tickets in a five-hour-period. Aaron Bevan states the tickets were all on Calgary Trail, and while he admits he was driving fast, he thinks the city is double-dipping on the same infraction with two of them happening mere minutes of each other. There was no mention about how furious he was in relation to how fast he was going though. Was he 2 Fast 2 Furious or was he Tokyo Drift furious? These are the questions that need to be asked, but I don’t see anyone out there doing it.
311 is not a joke
The newly updated 311 app for your mobile device is live and aimed at citizenry reporting parking infractions.
Instead of calling the police directly, those with the 311 smartphone app can report suspected parking infractions to the city. The app (android or apple) will allow the user to snap a photo with their complaint and use their smartphone’s GPS function to lead police to the location.
This streamlines the complaints by sending them directly to the city’s parking enforcement officers.
Other complaints that can be made in the app are dead animal removal, unsightly property, good/bad graffiti, dead trees, potholes and trail maintenance. There was some talk of adding ghost disturbances to the report list but that was negated because, as we all know, those are best handled by calling.
Alberta casinos will host TournEvent of Champions, which will send 28 lucky Albertans to Las Vegas for a chance to win some cash.
A press release states that, from now until late September, Albertans can compete for a chance to attend the “Million Dollar Event” in Las Vegas, NV. TournEvent of Champions is North America’s premier slot tournament making its debut in Alberta this year, according to the release.
Players from across the United States, Peru, and Canada are participating and vying for a chance to win more than $1.3 million in U.S. funds.
Just announced: Next month, I will be hosting the “TournEvent of Losers” and will bring all the best Alberta losers to my basement so they can lose like the champion losers they are!
Do you lose? Have you lost? Do you feel like your super hero power is to never ever win? Well then, fax me a google!
Depending on how much money the contestants are willing to lose, they could possibly LOSE IT ALL! All losings will go to me finally getting gold teeth and a spare appendix in case the one I have right now breaks.