Feb. 20, 2013 - Issue #905: DOA No more - Trading in punk for politics
In the Box
No Hall y’all
In the Box
Welcome to this week's edition of In the Box! The last week saw the Oilers go a paltry 1-1-1 against some half decent teams. Let's take a wild guess on how our columnists reacted? If you said positively then go sit in the corner. Now.
Wild 3 Oilers 1, February 21
Craig Douglas: The less said about this game the better. Ryan Smyth showed up to play on his 37th birthday (Happy birthday Smytty!), but the rest of the team, mmmmm ... not so much. The birthday boy got the lone goal but as usual, the Minnesota "Wild" showed up to bore everyone and defeat us (as they usually do).
So we'll talk about the hit instead. Yeah. That one.
Yes, I suppose it was dirty and I suppose that Hall deserved the two-game suspension, but I'm still going to award this week's Shithead of the Weak to Cal Clutterbuck because I just don't like that guy. I don't like his jerkoff name, I don't like his jerkoff face and I don't like his jerkoff behaviour. He had a lot of nerve to proclaim himself to be an angel after the hit and I hope he enjoys grooming his moustache while on injured reserve.
The hit by Hall was born of frustration with the Oilers lethargic play during the game and I’m sure he knew who he was hitting. The internet is full of discussion about the hit and its legality or lack thereof, so I won't go on and on about it. It was at least a little dirty and at least a little deserved, but it did nothing to help the Oil. So let's all move on, at least until Sunday when we play these clowns again.
Brent Oliver: I agree with Craig. The less said about this game the better.
I hate watching the Wild play. I know Jacques Lemaire isn't coaching them anymore, but they still play that incredibly dull trapping style that just puts ... me ... to ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I had given up by the middle of the third period after the two quick Wild goals, and headed off in my car somewhere. It may or may not have been to get beer. No one can prove anything, OK?
As soon as the hit happened, Stauffer called it. "He's getting a suspension for that one." He also mentioned how ironic it was that it was Clutterbuck writhing on the ground, after he's done that to countless other players with his cheap play. Don't get me wrong, I'd probably love the douchebag if he played for the Oilers, but there was a small bit of schadenfreude when he went done.
So I'll shut up now. Take a couple games off Hallsy.
Oilers 3 Coyotes 2 (SO), February 23
CD: Another Bullshit American Afternoon Game that started out rather bullshitty. The Oilers fell behind 2-0 and it looked the end of the homestand would be a stinker. Khabibulin kept the team in the game until the Oilers showed up just in time to not suck. A gorgeous goal by Eberle (his sixth) from Yakupov and Gagner got the locals back in the game.
In the third period "Special Teemz" Hartikainen got his first goal of the year (Yay!) on the power play and after a quiet OT it was shootout time! The Oilers slayed it with fantastic (or world class, as Coach Krueger described them) penalty shot goals from Gagner and Eberle and some sweet saves from the Old Wall.
Nice to see Ryan Jones back, and notable that it was Khabibulin's first of two games against his old teams.
BO: Did I mention I hate afternoon games? Especially when for some silly reason, an afternoon game happens in Edmonton.
Here's an account of how Brent, father of three, on a Saturday afternoon watched this one:
“Yay! Ryan Jones is back!”
(Five minutes later)
“Boy, this couch sure is comfy”
(Two minutes later)
“... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...”
(25 minutes later)
Brent's son: "Dad. If you're going to nap instead of watch the game, can I watch Phineas and Ferb?"
(Two minutes later)
"Crap. 2-0 Phoenix? Afternoon games suck."
And so on ...
I was awake long enough to see the shootout. 'Topes win. 'Topes win...
Blackhawks 3 Oilers 2 (OT), February 25
CD: The first of nine games in 17 days began on Monday as the Oilers faced the Biggest Lebowskis of the 2013 season, the undefeated (in regulation) Chicago Blackhawks.
Matchups between the Oilers and Blackhawks are usually entertaining and this one was no exception. The Oil got things going with a short-handed goal by Jeff Petry with Pääjärvi in the box for "smothering the fucking puck." Naturally the Hawks tied it right back up just 62 seconds later when Patrick "The Littlest Shit" Kane scored during the same power play. A nice looking power play goal by Nail Yakupov allowed the Oilers to carry a 2-1 lead into the third. Yakupov one-timed a Gagner pass that blew past Ray "Not Very Good" Emery and we all started to have a little hope in our hearts.
Then came the hope squasher and the heartbreaker, as Viktor Stalberg nudged the puck under Khabibulin's pad and over the goal line early in the third period. The play was called no goal on the ice and then it went to review and we all knew that we were proper fucked. Sure enough the review tested positive and the goal was awarded to Stalberg. That was when I knew we'd be lucky to escape with one point, which is just what we did.
Things kicked up a notch after the game was tied and it was all guns blazing as the two teams tried to take the lead in regulation. Yakupov hit the post on the power play and Khabibulin did well to stop Hossa while shorthanded. Chicago outshot the Oilers 10-5 in the third period and 6-0 in OT (34-19 overall) and that tells the story as well as anything. The Oilers were able to hang around but were eventually out-gunned by a better team that knows how to finish. At least we took three of a possible four points while Taylor Hall served his suspension and the road trip from (to?) hell wasn't the total disaster it could have been.
BO: It was my birthday. I totally forgot to watch this game. Hey, why lie to you people, huh? I caught the post game, and honestly, we have to be a little happy getting a point out of the most dominant home team of the year. So, there’s my “expert analysis” for this week.
Looking ahead, The Oilers take a couple of nights off to travel and relax before the hellish (franchise record) road trip continues with three games in four nights beginning Thursday in Dallas and Friday night in downtown St Louis.
Sunday sees the Oilers in Minneapolis against the "Wild" and that might not be boring as shit for once! (we'll see about that). Then, the road trip will continue and continue and continue and continue.
We'll see you on the road, next week, In the Box
@inthebox
inthebox@vueweekly.com
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