In The Box

We aint dead yet (we hope)

David Young

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Wednesday night games suck. Because of Vue’s press deadlines, you’ll be reading this and a crucial game five for Edmonton will have already gone by. TB and Dave have no idea what happened, so just like one of those old “Choose Your Own Adventure” books we had growing up (you know, they call them RPG video games now) follow these instructions. Oiler win? Just read on and ignore The Last Paragraph. Oiler loss? Skip ahead to The Last Paragraph. If things go the way they should, we hope you’re ignoring The Last Paragraph.

Hey, that’s our trick Apparently, during practice in Raleigh, Ryan Smyth found a coin buried at centre ice in the RBC Centre. And everyone knows that story of the loonie planted at centre ice at the Salt Lake Olympics (Ryan was there, after all). So, of course, Smyth dug it up. And then some rink worker replaced it. Evidently, they don’t have any good luck charms of their own down there. TB

Funny Q-Tip head guy Local product (yay) but former Calgary Flame (ick) Mike Commodore broke years of tradition by skating around during the tail end of “O Canada” to help himself to the big hunk of Alberta beef thrown onto the ice. Traditionally players shift side to side and stare blankly into space during anthems. Commodore dropped the big T-bone onto the Canes bench. It was a cheeky move, and, despite the fact that Commodore is “the enemy,” it gave me a chuckle. He would have really shown the fans up if he had taken a big bite out of it. DY

In case you missed it, Ray Whitney, Dougie’s got the puck With the fans in Rexall choosing former Oiler (yay) and Hurricane hired gun (ick) Doug Weight as the guy to boo this series, it made me wonder if that was really a good idea. Do the fans really want to telegraph to all Weight’s teammates on the ice that one of their most skilled playmakers has the puck? All they have to do when they hear booing is to get open and put their stick on the ice. No matter. Weight failed to get a single point here in Edmonton. His stinkin’ team got a win, though. DY

I ain’t no coach, but ... Anyone but me think that it would be fun to see the almighty Schremp dressed for a game? The powerplay can’t get any worse ... TB

Freedom 45 Retirement seems to suit old Paul Coffey. Known in his playing days as a stoic figure (you know, the whole slightly smug “man of few words” thing) he’s become quite a showman this year. First he skates a victory lap and cries at his jersey retirement, then he flashes one of his Stanley Cup rings to the crowd at Rexall Monday night on the Jumbotron to another roar of approval. DY

No bad pun — even with a first name like his It took until game four of the Stanley Cup Finals, but we finally got to see Dick Tarnstrom on the powerplay. In 03-04 Tarnstrom had 12 powerplay goals and 26 assists on the PP, making him the second highest powerplay scorer in the league. Although his time was limited, Tarnstrom looked confident and in his element. With hindsight being 20/20 and all, maybe he could have helped the anemic powerplay. DY

Next week: closure Well, for good or for evil, someone’s gonna lift Lord Stanley’s mug before our next column. Whether I’m still hungover from celebratory excess or a cranky bastard who just might hate hockey remains to be seen, but next week we’ll be spewing forth all kinds of stats, opinions, theories, grades and bad puns for our last column of the season. It’s also your last chance to vent, so let’s see some emails. We’d like to hear your opinions, and how this ride’s been for all of you. TB

The Last Paragraph Crap.

In The Box

We aint dead yet (we hope)

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