Dec. 14, 2011 - Issue #843: New Year’s Eve Style

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New Year’s Eve

Final countdown

Paul Blinov / paul@vueweekly.com
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» Hallmark sentiment

A couple years ago, Love, Actually introduced the idea that a big cast, big name, seasonal rom com could actually work out pretty well for itself. The blueprint's been ripe for rehashings ever since, particularly in the eyes of Gary Marshall; he who brought out last year's romantic clunker Valentine's Day returns to the formula to direct New Year's Eve, the cinematic equivalent of being bombarded with about a dozen different Hallmark sentiments for two full hours. The spirit of the season is grossly forced into everything here, right from the cloying opening voiceover: "Some people swear there's no beauty left in the world. No magic. Then how do you explain the entire world coming together on one night, to celebrate the hope of a new year?"

How so many big-names signed off on this is beyond me—from Robert De Niro as a dying lonely father to Halle Berry as the faithful nurse, the yearning-for-adventure Michelle Pfeiffer and the businesslike Hilary Swank to the even-more-businesslike Matthew Brodrick (in a one-scene cameo)—given that the sheer abundance of plot threads makes it difficult to invest in any of them. We have the overbearing mother (Sarah Jessica Parker), the dude who doesn't care about the holiday (Ashton Kutcher), the spurned lover (Katherine Heigl) and the rockstar ex trying to win her back (Bon fucking Jovi), a young couple racing against another to deliver the first New Year's baby (admirably played by Seth Myers and Jessica Biel, in what's easily the best thread of the film). Ludacris is in there somewhere too, as a New York cop.

There are some attempts to tie a couple of plotlines together, but none get enough time or are written with anything beyond syrupy sentiment to make New Year's Eve feel like anything but cheap confetti, ready to be swept away as soon as it's fallen.
 
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New Year’s Eve
Directed by: Gary Marshall

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