Week of July 22, 2004, Issue #457
FRONT
Three Dollar Bill
By RICHARD BURNETT
I last interviewed American comic Scott Capurro on the eve of his most recent Just for Laughs International Comedy Festival gig back in 1997. That’s when we dished Hollywood’s “Black Pack” (which consisted of Magic Johnson, Arsenio Hall and Eddie Murphy) just weeks before Murphy dropped his $5 million (U.S.) libel lawsuit against the National Enquirer for that tabloid’s eye-popping cover story headlined “Eddie Murphy’s Secret Sex Life—His Transvestite Hooker Tells All.”
This time Capurro and I dish other Hollywood comics. “I was a closeted comic in Los Angeles for three years and I hated it,” he tells me over the phone from New York City. “I don’t know how [comics like] George Wallace do it without talking about being gay. [Comic actor] Anthony [Clark of the CBS sitcom Yes, Dear]—he’s queer. I don’t know how he does it.”
It has everything to do with Hollywood’s glass ceiling, of course. And the frustration of out comics like Suzanne Westenhoefer is telling. “If I had gotten famous, gotten my own TV show and then come out—oh my God, then you’re like a freaking goddess,” she told the Salt Lake Tribune last month. “But if you take the risk from the beginning and kind of ghettoize yourself, in their eyes, it’s not the same.... If some famous singer who isn’t gay says some gay-friendly thing, they’ll be on the cover of every [gay] magazine. If they find out Harrison Ford’s half-brother or stepbrother is gay, he’d be the spokesperson for the gay community. I don’t blame them, because straight or gay, we’re so celebrity-driven. They already know about me. ‘Oh, Suzanne? She’s been gay forever.’”
When I repeat Westenhoefer’s quote to Canadian comic Scott Thompson, who recently moved back to Toronto from Hollywood he cracks, “Is that her interview for Bitter magazine?”
“Suzanne’s made a lot of money from gay comedy,” Capurro notes. “But I know what she means. She’s talking about Ellen [DeGeneres], who came out [after achieving mainstream success]. People think she’s a role model, but in the community Ellen’s a joke. How about writing a few jokes? I haven’t seen celebrities come out more [because] I think within the business it takes away some of your clout.”
Does that mean gay celebrities should stay in the closet? “Absolutely,” Thompson says quickly. “I recommend it. I’m serious. If you want a career in the world we live in today, then don’t come out. What a thing to say. Of course I’m being sarcastic, but it’s also true. Be prepared for a truncated career.”
As for Capurro, straight folks remember him as half of the gay couple in the 1993 Robin Williams vehicle Mrs. Doubtfire. “It was my first film role and Robin helped me get it,” he says. “And [co-star Harvey Fierstein] is fantastic. I’d sit in his trailer and we’d talk about gay celebrities. This business is so image-driven. But we don’t know anything about these people—how they vote, what they think of abortion. We know nothing and I don’t want to know. They’re actors. They’re boring, Can you imagine talking to Russell Crowe over dinner? He has nothing so say. He’s a thug.”
Later, when I get my friend, Toronto TV host and stand-up comedian Maggie Cassella on the line, another phone call to Cassella from Lea DeLaria interrupts our conversation. Lea and Maggie are both performing in Provincetown that evening. “Twenty years ago the boys came here to fuck and party,” Cassella says. “There were no women. Then AIDS hit and the lesbians boxed things up. P-town is not as busy [anymore]; we’ve become quaint. A lot of straight people come here: ‘It’s like the Vineyard except it’s gay!’ But it’s not. I liked it better when it was just our kind.” That kind of attitude has everything to do with society’s glass ceiling, not just Hollywood’s. If you can’t be out in the wider world, then it sure is nice to call someplace home.
Before hanging up, Cassella tells me to say hi to Scott Thompson for her. Which I do. “I insist you call Maggie back and tell her hi for me,” Scott cracks.
“I will!” I laugh, and then promptly do. But by this time Cassella and DeLaria have gone to work. So I leave a message. “Scott says hi back! See you in Montreal at Just for Laughs.” V